Don Ferguson as The Confused Philosopher (source YouTube)

Many Canadians fondly remember the Royal Canadian Air Farce which was a staple of Friday night TV for more than a decade (not to mention a hit radio show for decades before that!) I loved this show and still haven’t gotten over the fact that it’s no longer on the air. My favorite characters, skits, and anecdotes are far too numerous to mention – but the one that I think of most often is The Confused Philosopher (played by Don Ferguson). He would ask deep and probing questions like:

“Do frozen turkeys worry about global warming?”

“Why is a building called a building? Once it’s finished, shouldn’t it be called a built?”

“What do you yell at a duck to tell it to lower its head?”

“Do viruses get sick?”

“If organized crime makes billions of dollars every year, why not let them run the government?”

“Why does bottled water have an expiry date?”

“When there’s an earthquake, are drunks the only people who can walk in a straight line?”

I guess I think of this character a lot because similar questions often pop into my mind. So, in honor of one of the best TV shows OF ALL TIME here are a few of the things that make me The Confused Professor…

“Why does Don Ferguson look 20 years younger than me when he’s really 11 years older?”

“How come I keep finding straw and leaves on my dining room floor when the back door is on the other side of the house?”

“Why does sour cream have a best before date? Does it eventually ‘go good’?”

“To deter those dogs who eat their own poop (yuck!) – you can get a powder to sprinkle on their food that will make their poop taste bad. Am I missing something here? Doesn’t it ALREADY taste bad?”

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